BAGGAGE!!........by...BILLYF.

I FEEL LOST MY MIND CONFUSED

AFTER ALL THE HELL THAT IVE BEEN THROUGH

IM STILL TORN COMPLETELY USED

AND I BLAME IT ALL ON YOU

THE WORDS YOU SAID SO VERY FEW

TEAR AT MY SOUL AS I WITHDREW

FROM MYSELF SO FAR FROM VIEW

HIDDEN AWAY A FORBIDDEN RECLUSE

LIKE A WHISPER UTTERED INTO

THE AWAITING EAR OF SOMEONE WHO

REALLY CARED AND STAYED RIGHT THROUGH

ALL THE BAGGAGE THAT COMES FROM LOVEING YOU.....BILLYF.

blood shed..............by..billyf.

TRIPPING OVER THOUGHTS

THAT ARE RUNNING WILD IN MY HEAD

TIME I HAVE BOUGHT

AS IAM BEING LED

TO THIS WAR I HAVE FOUGHT

AND THE BLOOD THAT I HAVE SHED

I KEEP IN MIND WHAT IVE BEEN TAUGHT

AS MY VIENS SCREAM WITH RED

SOMETIMES SO DISTRAUGHT

CONFUSION I FEEL MISSLEAD

BUT IKNOW ITS ALL MY FAULT

SO I WONT LEAVE ANYTHING LEFT UNSAID

WE ALL DEAL WITH WHAT WE HAVE WROUGHT

UNTIL THE DAY WE'RE DEAD........................................BILLYF.

ill alwayz,.....billyf.

PAIN WONT LET GO DEEP IN MY SOUL
FOREVER SILENT NEVER TO KNOW
THE JOY OF CONTENTMENT WHERE DID TIME GO
BUT STILL HERE IAM LOST AND ALONE
THE TICK OF THE CLOCK AS IT SLOWLY GOES
AROUND AND AROUND ANXIETY GROWS
FEELINGS OF DREAD FOR ALL THE UNKOWN
BUT THE ONE THING IM SURE OF THE ONE THING ALONE
IS THE WAY THAT I FEEL ABOUT THE LOVE YOU HAVE SHOWN
AND FOR YOUR HEART I'LL ALWAYS LONG.......BILLYF.

THE GAURDIAN.........(short story) by....BILLY FITZ.

I wrote this awhile back,,it has a lot of grammatical errors which iam not goin to go thru the trouble of weeding out...just like my poems iam posting it first run as is...if you can overlook the grammer,,you will find a good story...hope u like it...peace...,billyf.

THE GAURDIAN.................................BY. BILLY FITZ.

He walked in the doorway and looked around. That smell sulfer or whatever it was filled his nose , to the point of suffocation. With his breath shortened he started up the stairs to where the noise was coming from , in his last dream the girl had said look for me in silence ,,what the hell did she mean, and why him why had she picked his sorry ass to come to why not someone who knew who the hell she was,,he just didnt understand. As he kept moving up the stairs he reached the top as cobwebs drapped everywhere he thought of how old this house was and how he had never noticed it was even on his street until the last dream ,,,in it the girl was dressed in white playin in her yard she was about ten years old he assumed she was running and playing as usual seeing as the dreams had been coming like clock work for a year now gradually growing more intense ,,hense the fact that he is standing in a dilapidated old house at midnite when he should be sleeping with his wife ,,but fuck it she would just wake himm with another dream so lets get this over with he thought to his self.
At the top of the stairs his ears filled with the unmistakable sound of music low and slow but music where was it coming from. He looked around four doors he picked the one closest to him ,,he opened it and the music filled his ears like a stereo turned full blast . He looked around the room as if looking for the volume control but nothing just a doll on the floor he grabbed it and made a hasty retreat slamming the door behind him. Out in the hallway the world seemed to change the hallway was differnt newwer still old but clean and sounds he heard sounds people talking ,,he ran to the next room to the voices and peered in and gasped as he saw the little girl vibrant and alive but not happy. He looked beside her and saw the source of her disdain and older man with a menacing look about him and grey peircing eyes he looked straigt though the little girl. Something about this told him it was all wrong but what could he do they couldnt see him could they were they ghost what the fuck was goin on ,,he decided to barge in. and see what would happen. He kicked the door in just as the little girl screamed the old man rolled to the floor startled he looked around dazzed but didnt seem to notice the other man that had barged in he made another move towards the girl,,just as she ran to the man,,oh hell she can see me,,but he doesnt seem to be able too,,,as the little girl cowered behind him ,,hiding from the older man..
Run he told the little girl il take care of this guy. The little girl made her retreat out the door as the old man turned to give chase somthing stopped him cold, a tightness around his neck. The man could feel the power were the helll did it come from he had never felt this before it was almost super human. He squeezed the mans neck hard untill he felt the breath leave his worhtless body.. You wont hurt anyone else you selfish bastard he said outloud,, i dont know who iam talking to noone can hear me he said also aloud.
"I can " came a timid small voice behind him. It was the little girl .."I didnt think u would come but u did iam so happy thank you for saving me,,,,,,,daddy"
Daddy but what the hell he was only 20 years old how could that be he had just started college the last thing he remeberd was laying down with his wife and goin to sleep now all this..what the hell..Then the little girl handed him a picture and his face turned cold,,,or as cold as it could get..He looked with astonishent at his own reflection on glossy paper in print it was from a magazing article he read the caption local hero ,,and newly wed found dead in home,,young wife says they were accosted earlier in the nite by an intruder who killed her husband she was able to shot the intruder but not before he had murder her husband ,,miss scott thomass said she was planning on telling her new husband that she was pregant the next day as she broke down in tears,,the intruder was able to escape but not before miss thomass wounded him all er should be on the lookout for a male with an eagle tattoed on his arm and a 9,mm round in his thigh..
Scott thomass he hadnt thought about it but he hadnt even remeberd his own name till just now he had been so engrossed with helpin the little girl,,ohh shit daddy could it be he turned and knelt beside the girl,,,"daddy iam glad you came back to me will you stay with me" he took the girl in his arms and gave her a kiss and asked her who the man was on the floor that had been hurting her,,"i dont know he sneaks in here and bothers me all the time i hate him,,,he said he would kill me if i told anyone ,,,but i knew you would help me daddy i knew it"" . He looked at his daughter with love for he knew he didnt have long before he had to go he told her to go to bed and he loved her he would see her agian soon and kissed her forehead,,she ran to bed safe and sound...Scott looked to the man layin on the ground and noticed his arm older and faded but the same the eagle just then he got a flashback the blood the sound his wife screaming and that same face staring at him in his mind ,,,, it was the same guy hurting his daughter too,,,he kicked the body you fucking bastard you ruined my life i wasnt about to let u ruin hers too.
He felt a presence enter the room behind him and he turned as he heard a scream.."Juli its me scott" she just stared at the body she started to walk thru the door and stopped right in front of scott as if to smell the air ,,,She could feel him there but couldnt see him he reached out to kiss her but slipped thru her.."I know you are here scott ifeel you hunny" she said with a smile " i dont know what happend but you saved your daughter tonite i just wish i could have told u sooner at least you could have known i was pregant" "and i love you scott" she said with tears in her eyes,, He looked to the sky as the room started to spin "i love you too i miss you juli" he shouted as he faded out of the room..
"Mommy where did daddy go" said the little girl to her mom "He is with God now baby he went to his other home",,"we will see him soon" she said with tears knowing the little girl didnt really understand but hell who did all she knew was that things were ok for now and it was because Scott had came back nooone could tell her differnt he was her daugthers Gaurdian Angel now of that Juli was sure..."Thank you God and thank you scott" she said with a smile thru her tears "thank you ".................THE END

HER DARKEST NIGHT............BY. BILLY F.

IN THE HOUR DARK BLACK AS THE NIGHT

A VIEL OVER HER FACE SHE TRIES TO HIDE

HER HEART SO COLD AS THE STEEL OF A KNIFE

THE BLADE SHE HOLDS CONTEMPLATING LIFE

HER ENDING NEAR HER WANTED DEMISE

FEAR AND LOATHING ALL THE LIES

GIVING INTO THE GRIEF OF ANOTHER'S STRIFE

BUT I KNOW SOMEWHERE IN HER HEART

THAT I

CAN FIND THE SPARK TO LIGHT HER LIFE

GIVING HOPE WHERE HOPE HAS DIED

AND BRINGING LIGHT TO HER DARKEST NIGHT.......

MORE OF THE SAME.....BY BILLY F.

MORE OF THE SAME..........BY. BILLYF.

I SEE YOU AS YOU WALK AWAY

HAIR BLOWING IN THE WIND

FROM SIDE TO SIDE YOUR BODY SWAYS

AND I GIVE IN TO YOU AGAIN

I CANT FORGET THE GAMES YOU PLAY

BUT STILL I LET YOU IN

SOMETIMES I FEEL THAT IM TO BLAME

WITH MY LIFE SO FULL OF SIN

I CANT BELIEVE WHAT WE BECAME

ARE SOULS FORGOTTEN WITHIN

ALWAYS MORE OF THE SAME

ON TOMORROW YOU CAN'T DEPEND...........BILLYF

MY MAKE BELIEVE

MY MAKE BELIEVE.....BILLYF.

-----------------------------------------

I FOUND A HEART TODAY

WORDS COULD NEVER SAY TO CHANGE THE FEELINGS FOUND INCOMPLETE

LIKE TIME LEFT STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET

COLD ALONE AND LOST LEFT LIKE ME

SHE SEES THE LIFE LIVED IN HER TEARS THE SAME AS I SEE

ALL THE LOST BROKEN YEARS THE LOVE LOST MISERY

SO MUCH I COULD SAY THAT SHE WOULD AGREE BUT ONLY ONE THING I HAVE YET TO SEE

IS WHAT SHE FEELS WHEN SHE LOOKS AT ME

BROKEN HEART SILENCE I KNOW I CAN BE A LITTLE MOODY A LITTLE INCOMPLETE

JUST ONE CHANCE TO MAKE YOU SEE IAM OFF TOO MAKE BELIEVE

TO RUN FROM LIFE COME WITH ME WE CAN MAKE REALITY IN MY MAKEBELIEVE

I KNOW ITS NOW WHAT IT MAY SEEM BUT LIFE ISNT ALWAYS THE THING WE NEED

TO MAKE US HAPPY LOVE IS LOVE JUST TRUST ME

SHOW U THINGS IN MY MAKE BELIEVE TO MAKE YOU BELIEVE IN ME.................BJF

SILENT TEAR..........BILLYF.

LEAVE ME STRANDED ALONE WITH FEAR

NEVER TOMORROW TODAY IS HERE

ALWAYS FOREVER I CANT SEEM TO HEAR

THE WORDS YOU WHISPER IN MY EAR

SO SILENTLY THEY CARESS AS A TEAR

SLOWLY CREEPS EVER SO NEAR

THE EDGE OF UR LIPS AND I CANT BEAR

TO SEE ANOTHER SILENT TEAR...................BILLYF.

THE OPEN DOOR...................BILLYF.

LIKE A SHATTERED GLASS

ON THE FLOOR

WITH THE PIECES SCATTERED

LOST FOR SURE

HER HEART WANDERS

FROM LOVE'S OPEN DOOR

CAN SHE LOVE AGAIN

WHEN SHE'S SO UNSURE

WITH THE PAIN IN HER HEART

FROM ALL SHE'S ENDURED

I CANT SAY THAT I BLAME HER

BUT I DO KNOW FOR SURE

THAT I WILL BE WAITING WHEN SHE ANSWER'S LOVE'S OPEN DOOR..............BILLYF.

YEAR AFTER YEAR..................BY. BILLYF.

SOME PEOPLE FIND LOVE AND HOLD TO IT DEAR
YET OTHERS TREAT LOVE AS IF IT WASN'T THERE
A KIND WORD SPOKEN TO A LOVING EAR
MEANS SO MUCH WHEN YOU TRULY CARE
BUT TO SOME PEOPLE IT ONLY BRINGS A TEAR
HOW CAN SOMEONE NOT KNOW THEY HAVE A LOVE SO SINCERE
A HEART FULL OF KINDNESS IF ONLY THEY COULD HEAR
THE SCREAMS OF A HEART AS THE PAIN SLOWLY SEARS
LIKE A KNIFE IN THE BACK THE PAIN LEADS TO FEAR
TO EVER TRUST ANOTHER AFTER THE PAIN THEY'VE KNOWN HERE
ONLY TIME WILL TELL YEAR AFTER YEAR.............

MY FAVORITE MISTAKE...........................BILLYF.

TEARS CASCADE DOWN YOUR FACE

YEARS OF HEARTACHE TIME CANT ERASE

I KNOW IM A MEMORY,MAYBE A MISTAKE

BUT SOMETIMES I DRIVE DOWN BY THE LAKE

TO SIT IN OUR SPOT WHERE WE USE TO MAKE

LOVE,,THAT IS LOST SEEMS TO BE FAKE

AS THE FEELING YOU GET FROM THE PILLS THAT YOU TAKE

TO RELIEVE ALL YOUR PROBLEMS THE ONES THAT YOU MAKE

THE FEARS THAT YOU HAVE THAT KEEP YOU AWAKE

ARE THE SAME ONES I THINK ABOUT WHEN MY HEART ACHES

FOR A LOVE LOST THAT NEVER WAS MY FAVORITE MISTAKE..........BILLYF.

DEATH'S DOOR...................BILLYF.

WHAT TIME DO WE HAVE TO CONTEMPLATE
ERRORS OF JUDGEMENT AND RISKS OF FATE
BUT A TIME WILL COME WITH NO DEBATE
WHEN HIDDEN AGENDAS WILL INSTIGATE
THE ONES WE HOPED WERE REAL
I KNOW I WONT HESITATE
TO STAND AT DEATH'S GAURDED GATE
CAUSE WHEN THAT TIME COMES
ITS THOSE THAT WAIT
WHO WILL HEAR A SCREAM SO SHRILL
FOR DEATH IS A SECRET FEW ABATE
AS THE BLOOD IN YOUR VIENS COAGULATES
AND YOUR WOUNDS DONT SEEM TO HEAL
THE HOURS SEEM TO ACCUMULATE
AND YOUR DEMISE IS ALL TO REAL..................BILLYF.

BREATHE...................................BY. BILLYFITZ.

YOUR BREATH ON MY SKIN WILL SOON BEGIN TO MAKE ME REALIZE

THE TRUTH IN ALL YOUR BEAUTY AND THE LOVE BEHIND YOUR EYES

YOUR HANDS SO GENTLE ,,I SOON FORGET THE FEARS THAT I DESPISE

IN YOUR ARMS MY HEART IS STRONGER I CAN RISE ABOVE THE LIES

PEOPLE THAT MEANT TO BRING ME DOWN SEEM TO BE DISGUISED

AS THE ONES THAT YOU TRULY LOVE ,,WE CONTINUE TO WONDER WHY...

THE POETRY OF DESPAIR..........BY. BILLYF.

MY WEARY MIND IS WORN ,,AND SOMETIMES IAM SCARED
THAT MY HEART IS DESTROYED ,,BEYOND ALL REPAIR
BUT YOU GIVE ME HOPE, AND I KNOW YOU'LL BE THERE
WITH LOVING WORDS IN THE DEPTH OF MY DESPAIR
DONT EVER THINK THAT THE FEELINGS WE SHARE
EVER GO UNNOTICED, CAUSE IM ALWAYS HERE
TO HELP YOU AS SOON AS I SEE A TEAR
ILL COME TO YOUR SIDE TO HELP YOU SAY A PRAYER
TO FIND YOUR GUIDANCE LEAD YOU OUT OF THE SNARE
OF THE TRAP THAT WAS SET BY THE DEPTHS OF DESPAIR.................BILLYF.

heaven or hell...............................by billy fitz.

HEAVEN/HELL
Current mood:HEAVEN DOESNT WANT ME AND HELL IS TOO FUCKING COLD

WITHERED THE SOUL THAT CANNOT FIND
SHELTER FROM STORMS THAT RAGE INSIDE
TORN APART A WEARY MIND
BEATEN BY THE WIND AND SANDS OF TIME
THE REAPER YOUR FRIEND WITH EYES BLIND
CALLING YOU IN ,,YOU MUST DECIDE
ONE LAST BREATH IN THIS HELL CONFINED
LOST AND ALONE IN A FOREVER NIGHT
OR FOUND AND PRAISED ON THE ROAD OF LIGHT